A Blogging Hiatis

My blogging inspiration has left me, so I'm taking a break.  It may be short -- it may be long.  In any event, I will still enjoy visiting many wonderful blogs and getting ideas from them.  And I am truly grateful for all who have visited Blue Mountain Home and left comments. 

Thank you, and happy blogging.

Joanie

Before and After

Above -- there's a walk under there somewhere

Above:  after digging out.

It was a beautiful day today, with the clear, vividly blue sky and snow-covered tree branches silhouetted against it.

Hope your day was beautiful too.

Joanie

"Snowpocalypse"

It snowed again -- all day yesterday and most of today.  This is my deck.  As you can see, the snow is almost up to the deck rail.

The photo above is also of the deck -- another shot of how deep the snow is. 

The final picture, above, shows our driveway.  The lump is our car.

Actually, it is quite beautiful, as long as we don't have to go out in it.  I hear that some people in our valley have no electric power, but we have been lucky so far.  However, we're prepared just in case, with flashlights, candles, a lantern, a solar-powered radio (that also can be powered by cranking) and plenty of food.  Now that the snow has stopped falling, we should be able to be dug out tomorrow.

More snow is predicted next week, believe it or not.  What a winter.

Joanie

Coping with Loss

Losing someone you love is one of the most difficult things a person will face in his or her lifetime. Your world changes so much, and yet the sun rises and sets every day just as it always has. Somehow this feels wrong -- how can earth's rhythms be oblivious to your loved one's departure?

So how do you cope? You just do. You have to. Still, everything has changed, especially if you were the caretaker of your loved one. Your life had revolved around that person, and that person is gone.

As for me, to paraphrase The Beatles (does this really need a link?), I get by with a little help from my friends--and my family.

I am fortunate that we are a close family:  My son, sister, brother, nieces, nephews, step-daughters, cousins, and their families communicate frequently and get together when we can.  It is wonderful to have such a loving and caring support group.  They give me a shoulder to cry on when I need it and make me laugh a lot.  The following are pictures of some of the members of my dear family:

Below -- my son, back in the day. . . .                                                                                      

and now.

Above, my sister and her son.

above:  my brother and one of my nieces

above, four stepdaughters

above:  step granddaughter and great-granddaughter

above:  three of my four beautiful grand-nieces

Look at all of those smiling faces.  Smiling is contagious, isn't it.


SMILE

Lyrics by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons, music by Charlie Chaplin
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadness

Although a tear may be ever so near

That's the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying?

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile

Joanie

Braeburn Farm

I recently discovered another blog that I love to visit.  It's Braebourne Farm and is subtitled "The Things I Love ..... and Other Beautiful Things."  The photos are beautiful (and include source info).  Here are a few of my favorites from the last week or so.

A word to the wise:  when you visit Braebourne Farm, be prepared to stay awhile.  It's a feast for the eyes.  And speaking of feasts, visit the companion site, Braebourne Farm Kitchen.  That's where I'm headed now.

Joanie

Where does the time go?

I think it's obvious that I am not the most diligent blogger in the blogosphere.  It has been almost three weeks since my last blog entry.  I confess that I've spent a lot of time looking at garden catalogs and trying to pare down my wishlist to an affordable level. 

The one plant I have ordered so far is Sweet Scabious 'Black Knight' (Scabiosa atropurpurea).  In fact, I ordered plants AND seeds from Select Seeds just to be safe.  It is supposed to be nice in flower arrangements and I was unable to find it last year.  Here's a picture from Select Seeds' online catalog:

Speaking of flower arrangements, I received a "blue" for the flower arrangement I entered at my last garden club meeting.  My odds were greatly increased by the fact that mine was the only arrangement entered!  Although the judges stressed to me that being the only entry did not guarantee a "blue" (first award), I still like those odds.  Here's my arrangement:

Now, back to those catalogs. . . .

Joanie

Baby It's !@#$%%^&&* Cold Outside!!

Even though a lot of our snow has melted since the "blizzard of dec 2009," there is still considerable snow, as well as some dangerous patches of ice cover.  Our latest forecast is for more snow starting this evening and continuing for part of tomorrow, although only a 1-2 inch accumulation is predicted.  More significantly, we are experiencing record-breaking low temperatures, with wind-chills in the 'teens.  That's pretty cold.

Ironically, during the past seven or so years that Cliff and I spent part of the winter in Tavares, Florida, our friends and family back here in Virginia teased us that we should have stayed home because it was so unseasonably warm back here.  So this year I am in Virginia instead of Florida and wearing thermal underwear (or would if I had any)!  But I hear that it's pretty cold in Florida too -- a low of 27 degrees predicted for Tavares tonight, compared to our predicted low of 22 degrees.  But tomorrow the high predicted for Tavares is 56 whereas ours is 38 with snowfall.  When you think about, it's pretty cold in both places!  So how do I spend these frigid wintry days?  Scouring garden catalogs, planning my 2010 garden, and dreaming of spring.

I remember April. Joanie

For Auld Lang Syne 12-31-2009

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.


In the above photo taken last May, Cliff is presenting scholarships to students at a local high school.  My thoughts tonight center around memories of our twenty-two years together:

I remember you, you're the one who made my dreams come true, a few kisses ago.
I remember you, you're the one who said I love you too, I do, didn't you know?
I remember too a distant bell, and stars that fell like rain out of the blue.
When my life is through and the angels ask me to recall the thrill of them all,
Then I shall tell them, I remember you.

(Lyrics by: johnny mercer; Music by: victor schertzinger)

To my family and friends, thank you for your support during these past difficult weeks.  I love you all and wish you the best in 2010.

Decorations

Yesterday I was talking with my sister and she said she was going to take photos of her decorations this year so that next year she could remember how she had decorated.  That was such a good idea that I decided to do the same.  The photo above is of my front hall.  The mirrored trees I purchased this year at Target.

The next photo (below) is an arrangement I made for the dining room buffet.  I received the container as a gift several years ago; it contained miniature rose plants.

The next photo shows an arrangement I made for the dining room table.  The hobnail milk glass bowl was my mother's.  I can't remember where I got the tablecloth, in fact I didn't even remember that I had it.  Cliff and I had celebrated Christmas in Florida for the last six years so I hadn't looked through my things here in a while.  My son bought me the candlesticks several years ago at a yard sale.

Above is a little tree I put up in the music room.  Most of the decorations are musical in nature.  Many of them were purchased at an antique mall in Mt. Dora, Florida.  (The portrait in the background is of me and was painted by a friend many years ago.) Below is a closeup of some of the ornaments.

Also in the front hall I put up a little tree, above, decorated primarily with vintage costume jewelry. I bought this tree several years at an annual Christmas tree show held in Mt Dora, Florida. The cat knocked the tree over and a few of the pieces of jewelry fell off, but I was able to reattach most of them.  Next year I may go to Florida again for Christmas, the this year I didn't want to go.

Holiday wishes

For those who have an empty chair at the Christmas dinner table due to the loss of a loved one, you may find comfort (as I did) in this post by Caroline@ FOREVER VINTAGE:   http://ckaspardlov.blogspot.com/2008/12/christmas-in-heaven.html. 

Thanks, Caroline.

To my family and friends:  warmest wishes for a Merry Christmas.

Joanie

Hanging in there, part ii

A song that has comforted me for many years is "Turning Toward the Morning" by Gordon Bok.  Now the words of the song seem more appropriate than ever before.

Turning Toward the Morning

(Gordon Bok)

When the deer has bedded down
And the bear has gone to ground,
And the northern goose has wandered off
To warmer bay and sound,
It's so easy in the cold to feel
The darkness of the year
And the heart is growing lonely
For the morning

Oh, my Joanie, don't you know
That the stars are swinging slow,
And the seas are rolling easy
As they did so long ago?
If I had a thing to give you,
I would tell you one more time
That the world is always turning
Toward the morning.

Now October's growing thin
And November's coming home;
You'll be thinking of the season
And the sad things that you've seen,
And you hear that old wind walking,
Hear him singing high and thin,
You could swear he's out there singing
Of your sorrow.

When the darkness falls around you
And the Northwind come to blow,
And you hear him call you name out
As he walks the brittle snow:
That old wind don't mean you trouble,
He don't care or even know,
He's just walking down the darkness
Toward the morning.

It's a pity we don't know
What the little flowers know.
They can't face the cold November
They can't take the wind and snow:
They put their glories all behind them,
Bow their heads and let it go,
But you know they'll be there shining
In the morning.

Now, my Joanie, don't you know
That the days are rolling slow,
And the winter's walking easy,
As he did so long ago?
And, if that wind would come and ask you,
"Why's my Joanie weeping so?"
Won't you tell him that you're weeping
For the morning?

Oh, my Joanie, don't you know
That the stars are swinging slow,
And the seas are rolling easy
As they did so long ago?
If I had a thing to give you,
I would tell you one more time
That the world is always turning
Toward the morning.
----------------------------------------------------------------

Recorded by Bok, Trickett and Muir on "Turning Toward the
Morning", FSI-56, copyright 1975.

"One of the things that provoked this song was a letter last
November from a friend who had had a very difficult year and was
looking for the courage to keep on plowing into it. Those times,
you lift your eyes unto the hills, as they say, but the hills of
Northern New England in November can be about as much comfort as
a cold crowbar. You have to look ahead a bit, then, and realize
that all the hills and trees and flowers will still be there come
Spring, usually more permanent than your troubles. And if your
courage occasionally fails, that's okay, too: nobody expects you
to be as strong (or as old) as the land." - Gordon Bok

I am waiting for the morning.

Joanie

Hanging in there

If Cliff had lived, he would be 76 years old today.  Today grandson Brandon (right above) emailed pictures from Cliff's birthday last year.

I started a new scrapbook yesterday with mementos of our life together. 

We had so much fun together.  Except for his last several months when he was so ill, I think he was happy.  I want to remember him as he was before he became so ill, and in his five wishes document that is how he said he wanted to be remembered.

Do you have an advance medical directive?  If not, I encourage you to execute one.  The five wishes document is inexpensive.  You can find it at http://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes.php.

Joanie

In Loving Memory

My beloved, my best friend with whom I spent the last twenty-two years, departed this life on Thursday, Nov 12, 2009, ten days short of his 76th birthday.  He had been so ill.  I was with him, along with one of his daughters and one of his grandsons, when he took his final breath.

At this moment I cannot begin to imagine what life will be like without him.  His health concerns occupied a lot of our time for several years and became intense in the current year.  As hard as it was at times, I do not regret one single moment of caring for him. 

The funeral will be Tuesday, and interment on Wednesday. Then I will begin the next stage of my life.

Joanie

Veterans' Day 2009

What a difference a year makes.  Last year I posted about the Veterans Day celebration in our Town.  Last year C. was one of the speakers at the event.  This year he is gravely ill and in the hospital.

I could not let the day pass without honoring his military service and that of all of our veterans:

A Veteran’s Day Prayer

Dear Lord,

Today we honor our veterans,

worthy men and women

who gave their best

when they were called upon

to serve and protect their country.

We pray that you will bless them, Lord,

for their unselfish service

in the continual struggle

to preserve our freedoms, our safety,

and our country’s heritage, for all of us.

Bless them abundantly

for the hardships they faced,

for the sacrifices they made

for their many different contributions

to America’s victories

over tyranny and oppression.

We respect them, we thank them,

we honor them, we are proud of them,

and we pray that you will watch over

these special people

and bless them with peace and happiness.

In Jesus’ name we pray; Amen.

If you value your freedom, thank a veteran.

Joanie

The Ghost of Halloweens Past

This year, for the first time ever, we did not turn on the porch lights to welcome the trick-or-treaters.  When C. was still in good health, he enjoyed decorating for every occasion and we both loved seeing the little ones in their costumes and giving them their Halloween treats.  Down in the storage area we have lots of Halloween decorations.  But this year C. is in ill health, and all I had time to do was put a fall wreath on the front door and three fake pumpkins (from Target) on the front porch. 

One of my stepdaughters brought me two beautiful chrysanthemum plants that I also put on the front porch; the the next morning deer had eaten them down to stubs.

I know that there are plenty of other houses that will turn on their porch lights to welcome the costumed children.  Hope next year ours will be one of them.

Joanie

Caregivers' survival, part II

A few days ago I wrote about things to do to take care of the caregiver.  I realized later there are other things to add to the list:

HIRE SOME HELP (IF YOU CAN).   I have someone who comes every two weeks to help me catch up on cleaning and laundry.  This lets me have at least a little time to do things for myself.  As women, we have always taken care of so many things ourselves, but especially as we age it becomes difficult to accomplish as much as we once did.  And when we have to care for a loved one, our discretionary time becomes scarce.  So if you can afford it, hire someone to help you.

ACCEPT OFFERS OF HELP FROM FAMILY AND FRIENDS.  It's easy to feel like we'd be imposing on someone who offers to help, or we're concerned that the person doesn't really mean it, and so we say no.  Learn to say yes, at least some of the time.  Have you ever helped someone?  Didn't it make you feel better?  Give others the same chance.

Give yourself a chance to relax a little.

Joanie

Caregiver's survival guide

It's doubtful that any of us think we'll grow up to be a caregiver (caretaker?) but in our elder years many of us find ourselves with this responsibility.  Here are some of the things I think can help us withstand the stresses of caregiving:

1.  GET ENOUGH REST.  This is a tough one.  Our loved one often needs attention when we would rather sleep in.  So grab a nap when you can.  Today I napped while my guy was at therapy.  It was only for a few minutes, but it helped.

2.   EAT RIGHT.  When your loved one is being tube (bolus) fed, there's not much incentive to cook meals for yourself.  But falling back on junk food and ready-to-eat stuff can take a toll on your own health.  Let's face it, it's a lot easier to eat some cheese and crackers than to go to the store and get salad fixings, expecially when you're already tired.  But it is important to make an effort.  Even so-called "fast food" joints now have healthier selections.  Do your research, and choose wisely.

3.  MAKE TIME FOR YOUR PASSIONS.  You don't have a lot of time, that's for sure, but if you love to knit, or quilt, or paint, play music, read, do crosswords, or weed your garden -- whatever gives you pleasure, do it when you can.  If you love it, it will relax you and give you satisfaction.  Do it when your loved one is sleeping, or at dialysis, or at therapy, or whenever you have a little time to do something you love.  Even if it's only for a few minutes, it will be beneficial to you.

4.  KEEP IN TOUCH WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY.  My sister and I email almost every night and we talk every weekend.  My brother and I have lunch most Fridays.  My friends and I keep in touch by phone and email.  This keeps me from feeling isolated from the outside worl when circumstances keep me here at home.

5.  LAUGH!!!  This is so important.  There is always something in this life that we can find amusing, and laughing is one of the best ways to relieve tension and give one a feeling of well-being.  Make contacts with friends and family members who make you laugh.

6.  GET SOME FRESH AIR.  We caretakers must often spend a lot of time indoors.  But if we make an effort, we can find a minute here and there to step outside and take a deep breath and re-establish our connection with the natural world.  Even if it's raining, standing on a porch and taking a deep breath can be invigorating.

7.  ENJOY YOUR DOG/CAT/HAMSTER/FERRET.  Pets bring joy and comfort, especially to we "elders."  If you share your home with a critter, enjoy the love and affection you will give and receive.

for the caregivers

Joanie

My New Toy

My sweetie has been ill and I did not expect a birthday gift from him, as he has been unable to get out of the house, except for medical appointments, for a couple of months.  But today a box arrived, and it turned out that it was a birthday gift for me.  It seems he had given money to my son and one of his daughters to get together and come up with a gift for me, and they came up with a doozie:

If you don't recognize it, don't feel bad -- it's not something you see very often today.  It is a "lap steel guitar" made by Fender probably in the 1950s.  I have never played one before, but thanks to the internet there is lots of information available.  I tuned it based on instructions I found online and experimented with it, strumming some chords and singing along, but plan to purchase an instruction book.  At my "advanced" age, I don't want to waste time trying to learn it on my own, as I did with other instruments I learned to play at an earlier age (much earlier, actually).

Wasn't this a wonderful surprise?

Joanie

A Birthday Diary

Here's how a "senior" lady spent her birthday:

7:30 am -- got up.  Made coffee.  Fed the cat.
8:00 am -- checked email and read newspaper on line.  Printed crossword to do later (from Wash Post).
9:00 am -- checked C's blood sugar and blood pressure.
9:05 am -- fed C. through stomach tube.  Also gave morning meds, crushed and dissolved in water.
9:55 am -- took C. to dialysis
10:15 am -- dropped mail off at the post office
10:20 am --took king-sized bed quilt to local laundry (too big for my washing machine)
10:30 am - grocery shopped
11:30 am -  home, unpacked groceries.  Ate bowl of cereal and fruit.

12:45 pm - drove back to dialysis center.

12:55 pm - checked C's blood sugar at dialysis and gave him an insulin shot

1:00 pm - fed C. at dialysis via stomach tube.

1:30 pm - visited friend CAG who is on crutches due to knee injury.
2:30 pm - picked C. up from dialysis
2:45 pm - ate peanut butter sandwich
3:00 pm - got cash from ATM and picked up quilt from laundry.
3:15 pm - back to groc store for birthday cake for me (small cheesecake)
5:00 pm - checked C's blood sugar, gave him an insulin shot, and checked his blood pressures.
5:05 pm - fed C. via stomach tube.
5:15 pm - fed the cat
5:30 pm - started making dinner for my son and me
6:45 pm - ate dinner (chicken, potatoes, asparagus)
7:15 pm - cleaned kitchen; empied and reloaded dishwasher
7:30 pm - watched Jeopardy
8:00 pm -- started watching House premier; worked crossword printed off earlier in the day
8:50 pm -- prepared C's meds for feeding
9:02 pm -- fed C. through stomach tube
9:30 pm -- answered emails
10:00 pm -- started writing this blog
10:14 pm -- and here's how the cat celebrated my birthday:

When Bloggers Stop Blogging

When I first started blogging, one of my greatest pleasures then (and now) was visiting wonderful blogs I'd discovered along the way. One of those I enjoyed was The Shabby Romantic, where I found the picture above of the white piano.  But it has been a long time since she's posted anything to her blog.   In fact, her last post was Friday, January 18, 2008.  Have you ever followed a blogger who stopped blogging?  Do you wonder what might have happpened in her life to cause her to abandon blogging?   Maybe she started a new blog--but didn't let her followers know about it?  Or did her life change in a way to make blogging no longer relevant to her life?  'Tis a puzzlement.

Joanie