Coping with Loss

Losing someone you love is one of the most difficult things a person will face in his or her lifetime. Your world changes so much, and yet the sun rises and sets every day just as it always has. Somehow this feels wrong -- how can earth's rhythms be oblivious to your loved one's departure?

So how do you cope? You just do. You have to. Still, everything has changed, especially if you were the caretaker of your loved one. Your life had revolved around that person, and that person is gone.

As for me, to paraphrase The Beatles (does this really need a link?), I get by with a little help from my friends--and my family.

I am fortunate that we are a close family:  My son, sister, brother, nieces, nephews, step-daughters, cousins, and their families communicate frequently and get together when we can.  It is wonderful to have such a loving and caring support group.  They give me a shoulder to cry on when I need it and make me laugh a lot.  The following are pictures of some of the members of my dear family:

Below -- my son, back in the day. . . .                                                                                      

and now.

Above, my sister and her son.

above:  my brother and one of my nieces

above, four stepdaughters

above:  step granddaughter and great-granddaughter

above:  three of my four beautiful grand-nieces

Look at all of those smiling faces.  Smiling is contagious, isn't it.


SMILE

Lyrics by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons, music by Charlie Chaplin
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking

When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by

If you smile through your fear and sorrow

Smile and maybe tomorrow

You'll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness

Hide every trace of sadness

Although a tear may be ever so near

That's the time you must keep on trying

Smile, what's the use of crying?

You'll find that life is still worthwhile

If you just smile

Joanie

Braeburn Farm

I recently discovered another blog that I love to visit.  It's Braebourne Farm and is subtitled "The Things I Love ..... and Other Beautiful Things."  The photos are beautiful (and include source info).  Here are a few of my favorites from the last week or so.

A word to the wise:  when you visit Braebourne Farm, be prepared to stay awhile.  It's a feast for the eyes.  And speaking of feasts, visit the companion site, Braebourne Farm Kitchen.  That's where I'm headed now.

Joanie

Where does the time go?

I think it's obvious that I am not the most diligent blogger in the blogosphere.  It has been almost three weeks since my last blog entry.  I confess that I've spent a lot of time looking at garden catalogs and trying to pare down my wishlist to an affordable level. 

The one plant I have ordered so far is Sweet Scabious 'Black Knight' (Scabiosa atropurpurea).  In fact, I ordered plants AND seeds from Select Seeds just to be safe.  It is supposed to be nice in flower arrangements and I was unable to find it last year.  Here's a picture from Select Seeds' online catalog:

Speaking of flower arrangements, I received a "blue" for the flower arrangement I entered at my last garden club meeting.  My odds were greatly increased by the fact that mine was the only arrangement entered!  Although the judges stressed to me that being the only entry did not guarantee a "blue" (first award), I still like those odds.  Here's my arrangement:

Now, back to those catalogs. . . .

Joanie

Baby It's !@#$%%^&&* Cold Outside!!

Even though a lot of our snow has melted since the "blizzard of dec 2009," there is still considerable snow, as well as some dangerous patches of ice cover.  Our latest forecast is for more snow starting this evening and continuing for part of tomorrow, although only a 1-2 inch accumulation is predicted.  More significantly, we are experiencing record-breaking low temperatures, with wind-chills in the 'teens.  That's pretty cold.

Ironically, during the past seven or so years that Cliff and I spent part of the winter in Tavares, Florida, our friends and family back here in Virginia teased us that we should have stayed home because it was so unseasonably warm back here.  So this year I am in Virginia instead of Florida and wearing thermal underwear (or would if I had any)!  But I hear that it's pretty cold in Florida too -- a low of 27 degrees predicted for Tavares tonight, compared to our predicted low of 22 degrees.  But tomorrow the high predicted for Tavares is 56 whereas ours is 38 with snowfall.  When you think about, it's pretty cold in both places!  So how do I spend these frigid wintry days?  Scouring garden catalogs, planning my 2010 garden, and dreaming of spring.

I remember April. Joanie

For Auld Lang Syne 12-31-2009

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.


In the above photo taken last May, Cliff is presenting scholarships to students at a local high school.  My thoughts tonight center around memories of our twenty-two years together:

I remember you, you're the one who made my dreams come true, a few kisses ago.
I remember you, you're the one who said I love you too, I do, didn't you know?
I remember too a distant bell, and stars that fell like rain out of the blue.
When my life is through and the angels ask me to recall the thrill of them all,
Then I shall tell them, I remember you.

(Lyrics by: johnny mercer; Music by: victor schertzinger)

To my family and friends, thank you for your support during these past difficult weeks.  I love you all and wish you the best in 2010.

Decorations

Yesterday I was talking with my sister and she said she was going to take photos of her decorations this year so that next year she could remember how she had decorated.  That was such a good idea that I decided to do the same.  The photo above is of my front hall.  The mirrored trees I purchased this year at Target.

The next photo (below) is an arrangement I made for the dining room buffet.  I received the container as a gift several years ago; it contained miniature rose plants.

The next photo shows an arrangement I made for the dining room table.  The hobnail milk glass bowl was my mother's.  I can't remember where I got the tablecloth, in fact I didn't even remember that I had it.  Cliff and I had celebrated Christmas in Florida for the last six years so I hadn't looked through my things here in a while.  My son bought me the candlesticks several years ago at a yard sale.

Above is a little tree I put up in the music room.  Most of the decorations are musical in nature.  Many of them were purchased at an antique mall in Mt. Dora, Florida.  (The portrait in the background is of me and was painted by a friend many years ago.) Below is a closeup of some of the ornaments.

Also in the front hall I put up a little tree, above, decorated primarily with vintage costume jewelry. I bought this tree several years at an annual Christmas tree show held in Mt Dora, Florida. The cat knocked the tree over and a few of the pieces of jewelry fell off, but I was able to reattach most of them.  Next year I may go to Florida again for Christmas, the this year I didn't want to go.

Holiday wishes

For those who have an empty chair at the Christmas dinner table due to the loss of a loved one, you may find comfort (as I did) in this post by Caroline@ FOREVER VINTAGE:   http://ckaspardlov.blogspot.com/2008/12/christmas-in-heaven.html. 

Thanks, Caroline.

To my family and friends:  warmest wishes for a Merry Christmas.

Joanie